Name: Wackford Squeers.
Relatives: I have my daughter, Fanny who is a good girl and works well for me and of course my fantasic son, young Wackford; an incredible talented young man who will go very far. When young Wackford takes over my school, it will be a great day and he will do his father proud.
Marital Status: I have a wife; Mrs Squeers. She does her best for the school and treats the boys awfully, much to my delight.
Profession: I run Dotheboys School of course. A place where unwanted little children can be sent and looked after by such a kind-hearted, generous soul as myself.
Hobbies: Money, creating incredibly clever schemes with my friend Ralph. Whipping young boys and putting a stop to childish behaviour in my school.
Favourite Food: Oh whatever Mrs Squeers decides to cook that evening. My son usually has the largest portion at the dinner table anyway, and it’s just such a delight to see him eat.
If you could have one wish, what would it be? For all of the little terrors in my school to become well behaved and silent.
Do you have a new years resolution? Oh I’m not bothered about childish things like that. I create my own luck in this world and that’s how I’ve become so successful.